"You will never get enough of what you don't want to make you happy."
Tammy was never satisfied. She didn't have enough business and she didn't have enough time off. She didn't really like her house, her car, her dog... Her friends often annoyed. Even though her husband thought she was beautiful, she didn't agree.
What was the problem? Why could she never be satisfied? Why couldn't she have what he wanted?
Truth be told, she never thought she could have what she wanted. Growing up in a family that financially struggled to make it, she never got what she wanted. Her parents loved her and did the best they could. On a good day, she almost got what she wanted. So, she held the idea that if she was lucky she could be satisfied with having something close to what she wanted, but not what she actually wanted. She proceeded though life seeing one problem or shortcoming after the next. She was an excellent problem solver. The problem was that life came at her with one problem after the next. She always thought of the cheapest, easiest, or best solution to the problem at hand but she never actually considered what she wanted.
Tammy didn't like the flooring in her home. It was definitely showing wear and she thought the easiest fix was a coat of shellac. So she spent several hours shellacing her floor but was not satisfied with the result. The shellac made the floor look newer and shinier but she still wasn't satisfied. Why? She wasn't satisfied with the floor because she never like the floor to begin with. It was the floor that came with the home. She didn't like it when it looked new and she didn't like the shiner version now. She set forth to correct a problem but never considered what she wanted. Her problem focused approach kept her focused on the problem and solutions to the problem.
When you start with what you want, you are more likely to get it.
Tonya didn't like the flooring in her home. It was definitely showing wear but truth be told she didn't like the floor even when she first bought her home and the floor was almost brand new. What she wanted was vibrant color like the beautiful rug she saw online. Or was that what she wanted? Tonya decided that before she made any change she wanted to get clear on what she wanted. So she printed a picture of the rug she like and taped it to her mirror. Every morning as she got dressed, she looked at the rug and noticed her response. Everyday for two weeks she looked at the rug and everyday she was excited to think about the vibrant color being in her home. She got the rug and could not have been happier. She was happy because she got what she wanted.
Getting what you want is more satisfying than solving a problem.
It's easy to see problems. It's what humans do best. We are drawn to problems and look for solutions to problems. But when we remain focused on problems, we see that our solutions have problems. And the next solutions have problems... The struggle is real.
When you can clarify what you want, you move towards the goal. Every step is closer to the goal or a greater clarification of what you want. Peace is every step.
Inspired by the book "Peace Is Every Step" by Thich Nhat Hanh.