Jealousy: Part One

As discussed in the last blog, jealousy is an emotion that reveals what we want. Once we see the connection between feelings of jealousy and our deepest desires, we can set on a more productive path to what we want. There is no scarcity and someone having what we want doesn't stop us from getting it. However... what about when it comes to a specific person? Lisa was married for 18 years. She was committed to her marriage and was happy enough. The emotional range in her marriage varied from comfortable familiarity to quiet exasperation. She enjoyed her time alone, her time with her children, and she found satisfaction in her job. She loved her husband but the "in love" feeling was pret


Almost all of us categorize our emotions as good or bad. Some emotions feel good, and some feel bad. Obviously we want to feel good and try to avoid feeling bad but truth be told our emotions, both good and bad are important to us. Both good and bad feelings provide us with information about our mental state. They can reveal our underlying beliefs, our deepest desires, and our greatest fears. As a result, it can be important to not only experience our emotions but to reflect on them and see if we can come to an understanding of why we are having the emotion and what it is revealing to us. Susan was jealous and angry every time she saw or even thought of Bethany. Bethany just seemed to hav

Supporting your health while enjoying the summer

w o r k o f A R T f i t n e s s It has been gorgeous out the last few days, and overall I’d say we’ve had a beautiful summer so far! I find that in the summertime, we tend to indulge a bit more regularly than during the rest of the year. The patios are open, we have camping trips, backyard barbeques, vacations, weddings, and a whole list of other reasons to go out for a couple of drinks with good friends. I have always been of the belief that enjoying food, and the experiences surrounding food, is almost as important as making healthy food choices, and I constantly preach that food should be a source of pleasure, not a source of stress. However, I realize that I’ve failed to mention, there a


OverHaul Fitness As a Personal Trainer, with all clients you set goals to strive towards. Often these goals are attached to some sort of measurement or statistic that you can track and monitor. When I first started the common things I tracked were: weight, body measurements, and various exercise-specific strength increases – to name a few. 5 years later, there are now many other forms of progress that I recognize and emphasize with clients. In regards to those wanting to lose weight, I want to bring up three forms of progress that I now consider and highlight with clients. The first, and the main one that I’m going to talk about in this post, is: 1. MAINTAINING YOUR CURRENT HEALTH & FITNESS


OverHaul Fitness All of the below is based on a break of 2+ weeks; you may still be exercising during this time but you aren’t lifting weights. 1. MODIFY YOUR VOLUME & INTENSITY First off, let’s clarify what that these variables mean. Volume = number of reps and sets you do for certain muscle groups. Intensity is the level of effort you put in while doing your reps, this is often referred to %1RM (percentage of 1 rep max) or RIR (reps in reverse); don’t get too caught up on these terms, if you’d like to read more about what %1RM means, or what RIR means, click on those links. It may be both tempting and satisfying to return to lifting similar weights, dumbbells, barbells, etc. you were doing

Unresolved Issues in Relationships

Unresolved issues in any relationship is the kind of underlying stress that can precipitate stress eating. Many issues that are unresolved are not necessarily the problems that came up in the last day or so but issues that have been brewing for years. They also won't be resolved in a conversation or a couple of therapy sessions. These long term unresolved relationship issues require disciplined introspection. By this I mean taking a few moments to consider how you are feeling, what are the sensations in your body, and what are you craving. Because cravings can be very powerful, they can be our first recognition of underlying stress. They can also be a powerful distraction from the und

Breakdowns in Communication

You would think that with all of the immediate means of communication today, we would be communicating better than ever before. But it doesn't seem to be the case. Sometimes communication is better when we can slow it down so we have the time to reflect on what we want to communicate, why we want to communicate, and do so in a manner that allows the other person to take their time in the communication and thoughtfully respond. A communication breakdown is when the two parties have different pictures of the situation. Many things can block our understanding such as: failing to listen; reacting out of your personal history rather than the current situation; expectations; or using ineffecti


T'was but a few short months ago My dear son was taken from me, But it seems so very long ago Almost eternity. He was a tiny bud Growing among the bowers On a slender swaying stem With seven other flowers. When the reaper came that day He saw that sweet, small bud It looked so frail and lovely That he took it up above. And when grief stricken I did weep To see him lain beneath the sod "Be still, weep not" He sayeth "And know that I am God" Now although our circle's broken And his presence gladdens us no more In my heart he'll linger Now and forever more. And each night I kneel to pray It seems I hear God say "I needed that

Family Dynamics

Samantha always dreaded family gatherings. She loved her family but couldn't deal with the emotional tension that seemed just under the surface. Her mother always seemed to take the opportunity to express her displeasure with her clothing choices and excess weight. It was embarrassing and humiliating. She always did her best to shrug it off and was super careful with her diet while she was there. It wasn't until later when she got home, that she found herself binging uncontrollably. As she reflected on her experience of dreaded family holidays in therapy, she came to a realization, she wasn't upset with her family, she was upset with her mother for bringing these embarrassing issues up

Family Relationships

You ever put a bunch of wires in a box on a shelf? If you wait just a little while, you end up with an impossibly tangled box of wires. It seems that you can leave it undisturbed on a shelf for months and when you go to retrieve one, somehow they are all got tangled together. This phenomenon does not seem to occur unless there are more than two wires. Two wires in a box are easy to untangle if they do get tangled. Relationships are a lot like wires in a box. If the relationship is just two people, issues can get sorted out pretty quickly. It may be that the two people agree to disagree or decide they aren't going to "go there". Two people can decide they don't like each other and deci

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